Blurry, beloved Hamstertime bachelor. Blurry loves Orange Julius, peanut butter, and not much else.
Name: Kool Moe Joel
Location: 20 minutes west of Chocolate Town, USA
Where were you born? In Wilkes-Barre, PA. My birth certificate was an apology letter from the abortion clinic.
What did you want to be when you grew up? A successful, hard-working doctor beloved by the community like my grandfather. Instead, I'm a programmer at IBM. Talk about night and day...
You sometimes mention your "co-irkers". Do they have a nickname for you? I wouldn't know. I don't speak to them, they don't speak to me.
What were mealtimes like for you as a child? My dad would bring the steer around, we'd hack off what we wanted, we cooked it up, and ate it.
No problems with mad cow disease? Nope. I've found that drinking plenty of orange juice instead of that sinful alcohol flushes all the bad stuff out of your system.
Did you ever like any of your school photos? No, I hated them so much I scribbled over them with permanent marker.
What was your first date like? What's a date?
You're asking the wrong person.
What is in your vegetable bin? Vegetables have no place in my home.
But, what about ketchup? Ketchup contains tomatoes, which are fruits. No, wait... that's not right. What I meant to say was, tomatoes prefer the company of other tomatoes.
What color is your car? The tag says gold, but it looks beige to me.
Are you having a good hair day? I haven't had a good hair day since I started going grey.
Don't you think that make you look distinguished? No, it makes me look like a creaky old man. Or a skunk.
What is your favorite cologne? I don't wear cologne. I choose not to hide my natural odors.
Are you French? No, the French exist for me to mock. I might travel to France next summer, just to shoot a bunch of bottle rockets in the air and watch everyone run in terror.
What is your middle name? I have 2. Michael and Edward.
What type of books do you like to read? Books with pictures.
Like the Karma Sutra? Sounds delightful. Is it a story about a person who wrongs another, then gets the favor returned to him years later?
What is your favorite type of cookie? Those lying bastard fortune cookies that promise "good luck lies ahead" and "a big fat raise".
Blurry, you will be a tough act to follow, but who would you like to see featured next? How about... Highwaygirl?!?
Thank you Blurry! You rock!
Posted at 05:09 am by ChefGrace