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Entrees
Monday, November 01, 2004
Spotlight On...

Slae Slae, (aka Slae, Slaebo, AlisonsNose).  A Texas original, and one of the funniest people you'll ever meet.


Name:
Slae Brannon. "Slae" is really a nickname - short for Salettie, which is pronounced Suh-lee-tah. It's not really any ethnic kind of name, since I'm your basic run-of-the-mill white chick, but I have seen a few "Miss Black America" contestants with my name. I'm named after my great-grandmother, and my great-grandpa always called her "Slae" for some reason. I was born a few months after she died and was named after her to ease my great-aunt's grief. Oh, and Christmas time is hell for me, in case you were wondering, and even if you weren't. Slae ride, Slae bells, one horse open Slae... and the year-round delight: "you Slae me". Ugh. I think I'll marry the first guy who comes up with something that I haven't heard before. Maybe. It would help is he was rich also.
 
Age: 40, by God! Or 13. Some days I can't be sure. Depends on who I'm hanging out with.

Location: Pearland, Texas (like 10 miles outside of downtown Houston) in Republican hell.
 
Where were you born? In a town in East Texas so small that the hospital I was born in is now a flea market. Let's hear it for Overton!
 
Have you ever lived outside of Texas?
Nope. I wouldn't be opposed to it, I just haven't so far. I've lived in Houston, Austin, Corpus Christi and in BFE-areas of East Texas, but that's it.

What did you want to be when you grew up? The grown-up version of Harriet the Spy. But without the tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches.
 
What do you do now, career-wise?
Work 40 hours a week in retail hell and come home every day and beat myself over the head for not yet finishing those 20 hours I need for my degree. Right now I'm a clothing supervisor at Kohl's. In the next week or two (whenever they can get the scheduling straightened out and find a replacement for me) they're transferring me to be the supervisor of our brand-spanking new Beauty department. That kinda rocks, but I'm not going to get used to it because interestingly enough, I interviewed for a management trainee position this week and I think I have it in the bag (or at least my store manager assures me I do). So soon I might be working 50+ hours a week in retail hell and coming home every day and beating myself over the head, but at least I'll be making more money. A lot more money. My parents have recently offered to pay for my remaining school, so now i'm just trying to figure out the work/school balance. But it's definitely a must.

What were mealtimes like for you as a child? Quite interesting and what some might call psychologically scarring (okay, I over-dramatize a bit...). Mom cooked and bitched about it, and Dad always immediately "had" to go use the facilities right after we were finished so my little brother and I always griped at each other because we were stuck doing the dishes. We were a bit bratty. Mealtime was also where I honed my rapier wit and my sense of "kill or be killed" sarcasm. Dinnertime conversations were not always pretty. Especially if anyone had a crappy day. Issues? Who, me? Nah.
 
What do your meals consist of these days?
Basically I eat whatever I scrounge up for myself from whatever I have laying around. I am a hell of a cook, I just don't do it as often as I'd like. And let's not even begin to talk about all of the fast food places on my way home from work...
 
Did you ever like any of your school photos? Nope. Not a bit. From my kindergarten picture that I had taken the day before my tonsils were removed, to my senior picture where my Mom decided to do this "great" hairstyle she saw Jose Ebert do on Donna Mills (thanks Mom!), every single photograph was frightening. No, wait. Third grade was kinda cute. Decent pigtails in that one. And I was sporting my fave Marcia Brady-ish purple and orange knit ensemble.
 
What is your fashion style?
I'm all over the map with fashion. One day I'm in a t-shirt and jeans. The next day I'm all about the trendy. Daily exposure to retail hell keeps me up with the latest trends, but I've never been much of a fashionista so I can resist the power of the poncho and the Boucle jacket. I like to look cute, but I wanna be comfy first.
 
What was your first date like? It was to the Valentine's dance in 7th grade and I slipped and fell in the mud before the dance even started. Of course, this was ok with my date, because he really wanted to go see the KISS movie they were showing in the auditorium instead of going to the dance. So I went home all dirty, and he rocked out to the loudest band in the world. But he's still my best friend, all these years later. I think I would have rather seen the KISS movie myself.
 
Describe your social life these days.
Strippers and heavy drinking. Oh wait... that was last weekend. Right now I'm really wrapped up with my best friend's niece's wedding that's happening next weekend. But last weekend, as the 23-year-old girls in the bachelorette party told me and my 40-year-old best friend, was "off the chain". My life-long best friend is the matron-of-honor at the wedding, so she threw the party in Austin, and naturally, I had to attend. We had the VIP room at a club and "Silver" was the main attraction. Man oh man, High-Oh Silver!!!! He was cute enough that we won't even mention the strings hanging from his frayed briefs. Did I mention the baby oil he had us pour all over him? Did I mention the baby oil that Silver poured on the chests of two of the "surgically chestically enhanced" girls in the party? Did I mention that the bride-to-be can never ever ever show her groom-to-be the photos from the party? It was just about the most pornographic non-pornographic exhibition that I've ever seen. WOOHOO! This weekend? I'm just chilling at the casa. The wedding's gonna be in New Braunfels and just happens to be during Wurstfest so I'm sure it'll be another sober weekend. I'm taking my "you have to use it up before the Christmas season starts" remaining vacation days and plan on not remembering a thing about the whole event. After it's over I'm sure I'll revert to my boring life of hanging with friends and watching reality tv.
I've also done a little volunteer work lately with the Richard Morrisson campaign (he's the Democratic candidate running against Tom DeLay - who just happens to be the Representative from my district - when I said I lived in Republican hell, I wasn't kidding).
Oh, and my little brother and his wife just had a baby girl last month and they live nearby so I've been baby-sitting her every opportunity I get.

Wurstfest?!  Hehehe.

What is in your vegetable bin? Onions, celery, a bag of baby carrots and some lettuce that I really should throw away.

What color is your car? Hmmm.... not counting the nice black bumper colored scratch in the passenger door from the nice lady who decided she wanted to be in the same lane as me at the same time as me, it's a kind of dark greenish teal-ish color.

Are you having a good hair day? Funny you should ask. Surprisingly enough, my hair rocks today! Love that "Super Skinny" straightening stuff from Paul Mitchell!
 
Are there any other beauty products you love?
I'm totally loving all the new cosmetics we have at Kohl's. Not just because I'm a sales whore, but because they're awesome. The "American Beauty" hand lotion is the best lotion ever.
 

What is your favorite perfume? I'm not much of a perfume wearer, I usually just put on some lotion from Bath & Body Works, but the bastards discontinued my favorite scent (green tea & cucumber). I guess if I had to pick a perfume it would be "Forever" by Alfred Sung.

What is your middle name? Oh jeez. And we were doing so well up until this point. Do I really have to answer this? Ok, don't tell anyone, but it's "Hudnal". I'm named after my grandmother. I guess it could be worse, my other grandma's name was "Edna". So think about it.... "Salettie Hudnal". Yep. A mouthful.
 
What would you name your children?
I'm not really sure. I guess I'd stick with traditional names... nothing with phonetic spelling or celebrity-of-the-moment related.

What type of books do you like to read? I read everything. Mystery, romance, comedy, history, anything anti-Bush, biographies, dictionaries, cookbooks, pop-ups..... everything.
 
What do you do for laughs?
I visit Austin a lot and hang out with my buddy. When we're together we're about 13 years old. I find humor all around me, so I basically stay amused.
 
What is your favorite type of cookie? Hmmmm.... that's a good question. I think my all-time fave cookie is a Snickerdoodle (sugar cookie rolled in cinnamon sugar). Most cookies are okay, but I don't like nuts (pecans, walnuts... those types of nuts - peanuts are okay).
 
Who would you like to see featured on the next Spotlight? JennaLynn, ladyjane, ShyLurkerGuy or The CHIMP would all be interesting since they continually crack my sh*t up.

Thanks for the laughs!  Maybe we can talk you into starting a blog ~  The world needs more Slae on a daily basis!


Posted at 02:55 pm by ChefGrace
(6) Shout Outs  

Saturday, October 30, 2004
Boo Who?

I found this on AOL this morning.  Scary, huh?

Aries– Rams are the superheroes of the zodiac, so it's only natural that they'd want to dress as Superman, Wonder Woman, or Batman. Real-life heroes like firefighters, police officers, and military personnel are also good choices for this courageous sign.

Taurus – Bulls are quite fetching, so a costume like Miss America or Mr. Universe may appeal to their inner beauty contestant. Taureans are also famous for their green thumbs, and may choose to dress as a man-eating plant or dirt-streaked gardener this year.

Gemini – These wordsmiths may enjoy dressing as a dictionary or Scrabble board this Halloween. Born under the sign of the Twins, this sign might also pair up with a pal and go as a famous duo. Bert and Ernie, Mary Kate and Ashley, or Bonnie and Clyde are all great choices.

Cancer – Cancer embodies the sign of patriotism, so historical costumes like the Statue of Liberty, Uncle Sam, or a Native American might have plenty of appeal. Alternately, a Moon Child may decide to go as their favorite lunatic, like fellow Crabs Courtney Love or George W. Bush.

Leo – Flashy Leo loves the spotlight, so dressing as a rock star is a natural choice. This sign also adores cats, so a Cowardly Lion or Garfield costume isn't out of the question, either. This sign rules children – dressing as an infamous child star is also a fun possibility.

Virgo – Earthy Virgo is a closet sensualist, so dressing as their favorite sex symbol will be wonderfully liberating. This sign also has an appreciation for the printed page, so going as a librarian or famous writer might also appeal to their intellectual sensibilities.

Libra – Libra embodies the marriage principle, so this sign may want to pair up with a friend and go as an (in)famous couple. Whitney and Bobby, Britney and Kevin, and J. Lo and Marc Antony are all good possibilities. Kindler, gentle Librans may prefer angel costumes.

Scorpio – The natural detectives of the zodiac, Scorpions may choose to dress as Sherlock Holmes or Miss Marple. This sign loves all things shadowy, too, so an outlaw costume might also appeal, whether it's Tony Soprano or Martha Stewart.

Sagittarius – Archers are notorious adventurers, so a costume like the Croc Hunter or Lara Croft are good choices. People born under this sign are natural jokers, so dressing like a circus clown or stand-up comedian are also possibilities.

Capricorn – Dignified Capricorns love the royal treatment, so dressing up like Cleopatra or King Henry VIII might appeal. Goats also have a special appreciation for ancient times, so a dinosaur costume or a cave person outfit could be to their liking.

Aquarius – This visionary sign loves to explore, so an astronaut costume may be just the thing. Alternately, dressing as a space alien could appeal to this sign's far-out sensibilities. Rebel costumes like Michael Moore or Avril Lavigne might also be winners for an Aquarian.

Pisces – Born under the sign of the Fish, Pisceans have an affinity for sea creatures. Dressing as a mermaid or King Neptune might be just the thing for this watery sign. Pisceans also love dance, so a ballerina costume or white disco suit are good possibilities.

Posted at 10:40 am by ChefGrace
(5) Shout Outs  

Thursday, October 28, 2004
Boo!

~Who says that Evansville Indiana doesn't have anything to offer since Tsylyst graduated from college there?  Here's proof.


~More Ghost Cams


~One Really Scary Clown


~PETA meets Elvira


~Hahaha


~Don't blame me if this gives you nightmares



Posted at 11:01 pm by ChefGrace
(3) Shout Outs  

Wednesday, October 27, 2004
You're Outta Here!

 blurryv1510n [10:50 PM]:  GRACE!
Chefgracegeorge [10:50 PM]:  hi Blurry!
blurryv1510n [10:50 PM]:  I'd like your thoughts on the death of baseball...
Chefgracegeorge [10:50 PM]:  eh
Chefgracegeorge [10:50 PM]:  I've been in denial
blurryv1510n [10:51 PM]:  I've given up baseball forever.   You?
Chefgracegeorge [10:51 PM]:  If you lead I will follow
blurryv1510n [10:52 PM]:  Excellent.
Chefgracegeorge [10:53 PM]:  Baseball is now dead to me.
blurryv1510n [10:53 PM]:  Amen, my child.

Posted at 10:55 pm by ChefGrace
(3) Shout Outs  

Weekend Recap

There is far too much from last weekend to talk about here, so I'll just list a few highlights.

Overg's parents are awesome!  I really enjoyed meeting them and sharing a wonderful lunch.

Overg can cook!  He baked a chicken and stuffing dish that was very good.  We had fun shopping for the ingredients, and he let me help him recycle his aluminum cans.  Good times.

He also let me cook for him!  I made  Farfalle with shrimp, artichokes, and basil, (Carol's favorite!).  The dish calls for a 1/2 cup of wine.  I drank the remainder and spent the evening dancing around O's kitchen, and forgetting about the food.

Beaker and Thumper love me!  The three nights I spent there, (thanks NorthWest airlines!), Beaker slept on my stomach.  I also got Thumper to play and lay right beside me.  It didn't hurt that I came bearing gifts~  cat toys, treats, catnip, and a laser pen.   I had a lot of fun with them, and Overg never seemed too jealous.

We enjoyed some sight-seeing, some shopping, a lovely evening at the airport, too much food, getting groceries, (twice), going to the pet store for toys for Max, (O's parent's dog), watching television, and other things that would probably bore you to tears, but made me happy just  to be sharing with O.  

Michigan truly is breath-taking in the autumn.






Posted at 04:00 pm by ChefGrace
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